The Spark.

I've met a guy we'll call Cowboy [[for that whole background mess checkk this AC post]] and it was all fun and games. And I was thinking "Thank you 2010 for sending a decent guy my way!" Until I realized we're not on the same page. He seems hellbent on getting me into a relationshit with his "I'm gonna be your knight in shining armor" and "You're mine" shit. I've calmly and very plainly explained I'm not one for relationshits, and all I got was a "I'll change your mind. I'm not like those other guys". A for effort, but let's be reasonable; he's not even listening to my side of things.

To his credit, he's a fantastic kisser, pretty good in the sack [[or car, AC post]], and he does and says all the things I've always said I wanted in a relationshit. I just don't want the relationshit I guess. He can say the sweetest thing and the dirtiest thing in the same sentence and it's completely natural. I like it, but the problem is I like the dirty tidbit waiting in the wings more than i do the heartfelt crap parading on stage. For example, "baby, you're so gorgeous today, it makes me want to bend you over this table and fuck you stupid. i don't care that there's people they can watch." Can you guess where my interest peaks?

My suspicion is that since The Spark is missing, all this potential isn't being used. I should be getting goosebumps when he kisses me softly and whispers something in my ear. I should feel giddy when I get a text from him. My heart should be skipping a fucking beat when he does the things I've wanted a boyfrenn to do! SOMETHING SHOULD BE HAPPENING! But no. I feel the same way about him saying he's gonna bring me flowers as I do about him telling me his dog died. I'm apathetic. and when he texted me this morning saying he didn't want things to just be sex between us, I froze.

WHAT GIRL DOESN'T WANT TO HEAR THAT SHE MEANS MORE THAN SEX TO A HOT GUY SHE'S INTERESTED IN?! apparently, I'm the only one. I'm not sure if The Spark is gonna be fashionably late, or not appear at all, but I'm worried if I stick around to see, he's gonna be trying to trick the l-word out of me-- that will not work for me. I don't want to string him along, I really don't, but if I'm gonna give him an honest chance knowing I'm already thinking of cutting him loose, how well is this gonna go? I can already feel my inner She-wolf grimacing at the idea of him saying that four letter word, and she's planning on getting us into trouble at the lingerie party this weekend to get us out of it. "No papers, No promises", she's saying. But do I want to run from every decent guy that comes my way, or is he just not it?