sometimes you couldn't imagine the outcome if you tried

So as you all know, ginger dumped me last week and I was up in the air over how I felt about it. As the week progressed I went to the lake with some friends and hoped to get my mind off it. But I just ended up venting to the girls over margaritas about it and we compiled a list of things to say to him about all of it. I was especially confused about how we were broken up but still texting every night and things like that so I added that to the list of things I needed mother fuckken clarification on. Well, I come home Sunday and ginger was supposed to come over that night; on the drive home, though, he texted to cancel on me-- par for the course much? Well I was like "fuck this and him" when he texts me asking if he could come over monday, I tell him "sure, whatever" and forget about it. He comes over the next day and we watch true blood then he asks if we can talk. We go to another room and I wait for him to start talking-- only he is struggling and looks like he's going to cry. He finally starts with "I'm scared. I'm scared of 3 things: commitment, that I'm not good enough for you, and letting you in because it means I have to let my wall down." We talk for 2 hours about it all and how he was so scared he "jumped ship" instead of talking it out with me because he has never really talked things out with anyone before so he wasn't sure he'd be able to find the words. After 2 hours, he covered everything I had on my list before I had a chance to bring any of it up, and he even spent 20 minutes of it apologizing for ruining everything and how he'd like to get back together if I'd have him. I wasn't sure how to respond so we sat in silence for a while just holding hands; finally he kissed my hand and said "this is the first time I've felt like myself since I broke up with you, just being around you is enough if you don't want me." It was the sweeted thing I've ever heard and the look in his eyes just about broke my heart so I said "yes, on two conditions", he looked like a make a wish kid being granted a wish he was so happy he said "anything, you name it." I looked him in the eye and said "one, we talk it out before you go jumping ship," he nodded and said "if I had done that instead of what I did I could've saved us a lot of shit, of course" and I said "two, you kiss me." So we kissed and caught up on lost time chatting when he kissed me and said "I love you, you know that right? I figured if I had broken up with you and been just friends you'd be in my life forever, but I didn't realize how much I need you." So the L word has been dropped by the greatest LOML potential to date....let's see how I navigate these waters of Love.