it's a heady discovery

it's a heady discovery when you realize that this is the most you'll ever get from a relationshit [[if we can call it that, rather we'll use Chelle's phrase "whatevership"]].

My Colorado Sunrise and I have The Spark, mutual attraction and compatible personalities, but we have nothing else. I mean, I can try and stretch the truth or delude myself into thinking that this is the awkward stage or it'll get better with time. But in the end I'll know, I'll know I've wasted time, energy and will power trying to create lemonade out of clouds and wind.

Just because I'm ass over tits for him doesn't mean that I'm going to get a happy ending, nor am I going to be loved the way I deserve to be loved.

I know now that I've found exactly what I was looking for at the beginning, someone I had The Spark with to touch my body with no-strings-attached. I was the one who kicked myself in the shin when I decided I was going to fall for him and his potential. shit, I fucked up guys.