as a woman.

I am proud, grateful, escstatic, and unashamedly stoked to be a woman. To me, it's almost like being a superhero-- it's really awesome, and you get to do all this awesome stuff but it's a huge responsibility. Being a woman isn't just getting dolled up or giving birth or having boobs, it's really about being strong throughout all your fragility. It;s about being a pillar and a foundation for your friends and family. Its about knowing when to get swept off your feet, and when to sweep the losers out onto the doorstep.

Women get a bad rap when we try to level the playing field because we're in a male driven society, and they've got to resort to low level black balling. Because we present a challenge. I have always believed that women could do anything men can do and thenn some; my favorite example is Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire. People go on and on about how amazing Fred Astaire is, and he's got countless schools named for him. But Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in heels. Case in point? She's got him beat, especially since she made it look flawless.

Personally, the woman I'm becoming is resilient, optimistic, cynical, cutting, thick skinned and always classy. I stand by my belief that a woman is always multi-faceted, unlike her simple companion, man. So I am always deep, different and all encompassing. I'm compassionate, passionate, empathetic, and utterly mad at times. As a woman, I can go completely off my rocker on a friend and then as soon as that mood is gone help them gather their wits and send them on their way with a hug and a kiss. I am completely comfortable with my emotions and my lack of shame; if I were a man, this would prove to be problematic, but because I'm a woman I'm "allowed". Emotions aren't a sign of weakness, they're a sign of strength. It's hard work to face how you're feeling, confront it and muster up the courage to show the world exactly how much it hurts or not. Anyone can shut up their emotions in a jar and never address it, but it takes skill to lay everything on the table and accept it at face value.

As a woman, I am moving onwards and upwards. Keep up or get out of the way. I'm a classy boss bitch on a tear for the top, and I only roll with the best of my fellow women.

I need you like a stripper needs razor burn.

So perhaps my last post was a bit hasty. I was talking with a friend and instead of getting all upset over daVinci code's lack of balls, he reminded me to remember that not only am I sexual enough to have pulled daVinci code from the path of righteousness, I also prompted him to cheat on his significant other. Thanks James for putting it right in my mind.

But it doesn't help that daVinci code has regressed. Ugh. Childish, another reason I have no patience for nor desire to be in a relationshit with anyone. The stress brought on by my own life is more than enough to keep me busy, I don't need to connect that with anyone else's, especially not with any one around here. Self-centered lot of bigots and ignorant fools, not appropriate significant other material for a boss such as I.

Seeing as how I am in no man's land, daVinci code is probably my best bet for getting any, so I'm gonna need him to wrap up this battling demons thing and just grow a set AND TEXT ME! I just need a guy to take me in a manly fashion, to just make me feel dirty and girlish. Why is that so difficult?

For some reason, unbeknownst to me, the only ones interested in touching my body (besides the fluke find of daVinici code) are freaks, losers, rude black guys and Fuckbaggerson. I don't know what that doucher is still texting me trying to rekindle the flirtationshit we had over the summer. I grew tired of being mind fucked all the time so I cut it off, now he has no attention from me and it's driving him mad. "Hey wanna bang tonight?" in a text message to me, despite how desperate you might think I am, does not make me want you. Remember I am a classy bitch with standards, which is how you were cut in the first place.

Speaking of that, what is it with guys and assuming that just because they're a (self-proclaimed, more often than not) good looking guy, that when they step to a girl she's going to drop trou and bed him where he stands? Listen, I've got the pussy so I'll be making the decisions here. Don't think that any dick will do; heavens no! I have needs just like any other person, but unlike a guy I have standards and will stick to them-- I'm not a slut, I have a healthy sexual appetite.

Uh-Oh.

Well, it looks like I have cracked the daVinci code, the guy who's body I just touched, we'll call him daVinci code, may have been a virgin. "/oopps. no one told me this-- ok that's a lie. When I first spotted him, I had some friends ask around to fin out his deal. Here's what they returned with: he's got a girlfriend, he's a virgin and there's no chance with him. Hahaha well they underestimated me. I got him, and now realize he was a virgin. haha I'm so going to hell for this.

Now I've opened the floodgates, got my body touched just the once, and I want more. NOW. ugh, too bad the virgin is probably battling his demons of having sex, of cheating on his girlfriend and his girlfriend not being his first time. I've taken the guesswork, the footwork and the work work out of sex with me for him, and he can't be bothered to text back to give me a reply. According to some people I'm sexually intimidating, so he might just be scared. wtf? I know what I want and I know how I want it, how is that "intimidating"? A guy is experienced, he tells a girl what to do, she does it. A girl know what she wants, tells a guy how to do it and she's a whore and "intimidating"? BULLSHIT.

I'm too rabid and tired to keep writing about this without getting upset haha. Now I'll end with this question, why is it men go on and on about how they need to find a girl just to have sex with and nothing more, but when that girl appears they can't be bothered to get their shit together?

The 'Accidental Tease'

The Chronic Flirt &Runner is a girl who KNOWS what she wants. She KNOWS how to attract it. She KNOWS how to please it. She KNOWS how to get it. BUT… she doesn’t. She’s what you call the ‘accidental tease’/ or just plain, ‘Sabrey’ will suffice.

I have single-handedly perfected the art of the Flirt& Run. (Technically) My first kiss was in pre-school. *Yes, you have to start EARLY to fail this consistently* It was on the playground, with a fresh-out-of-Pampers audience, under an Osh-Kosh jacket with a round boy named Johnny Whit.

I can’t even remember if I enjoyed it, but the SETUP was all the rage (: [This is the demented mind of an accidental tease] How many people do you know that dig the Foreplay more than the deed? Anyway, I must not have been too love struck because I kept my labios to myself until I was about seventeen years old.

Now THAT’S the 1st kiss I keep on the books. The build-up was GREAT the event was kind of a flop. I swear to all that is right in this world that as soon as our lips parted I blurted out, “That’s it!?” No mind-boggling-off-the-wall-cant-catch-my-breath-tingling-and-sparks? I felt pretty bad after that and of course the boy felt insufficient so I guess he thought the suggestion of a French snog would sway my opinion of him… I tell you I couldn’t have gotten out of there fast enough after he UNRAVELED his gargantuan tongue in my mouth.

The accidental tease never realizes how disappointed she leaves her suitors. She has no scope of their needs. She naturally assumes that something awful for her MUST be as ashen for them. She is also her own biggest CockBlock.
*Does ANYONE else see how that monster tongue COULD have come in handy??* Yeah… it took me TWO years to realize that…
Let’s be honest, the root cause of the Chronic Flirt& Run is extreme sexual na·ive·té.

I’ve left many a prick in launch mode without a second thought. I’ve enticed many a booty-call and let the return call go to voicemail. I’ve talked a mighty good game and played them before they saw it coming. And now, I am SUFFERING the wrath of Vag-Drought because MotherKarma is a betch out with a vengeance against me and my accidental tendencies… -_-