The 'Accidental Tease'

The Chronic Flirt &Runner is a girl who KNOWS what she wants. She KNOWS how to attract it. She KNOWS how to please it. She KNOWS how to get it. BUT… she doesn’t. She’s what you call the ‘accidental tease’/ or just plain, ‘Sabrey’ will suffice.

I have single-handedly perfected the art of the Flirt& Run. (Technically) My first kiss was in pre-school. *Yes, you have to start EARLY to fail this consistently* It was on the playground, with a fresh-out-of-Pampers audience, under an Osh-Kosh jacket with a round boy named Johnny Whit.

I can’t even remember if I enjoyed it, but the SETUP was all the rage (: [This is the demented mind of an accidental tease] How many people do you know that dig the Foreplay more than the deed? Anyway, I must not have been too love struck because I kept my labios to myself until I was about seventeen years old.

Now THAT’S the 1st kiss I keep on the books. The build-up was GREAT the event was kind of a flop. I swear to all that is right in this world that as soon as our lips parted I blurted out, “That’s it!?” No mind-boggling-off-the-wall-cant-catch-my-breath-tingling-and-sparks? I felt pretty bad after that and of course the boy felt insufficient so I guess he thought the suggestion of a French snog would sway my opinion of him… I tell you I couldn’t have gotten out of there fast enough after he UNRAVELED his gargantuan tongue in my mouth.

The accidental tease never realizes how disappointed she leaves her suitors. She has no scope of their needs. She naturally assumes that something awful for her MUST be as ashen for them. She is also her own biggest CockBlock.
*Does ANYONE else see how that monster tongue COULD have come in handy??* Yeah… it took me TWO years to realize that…
Let’s be honest, the root cause of the Chronic Flirt& Run is extreme sexual na·ive·té.

I’ve left many a prick in launch mode without a second thought. I’ve enticed many a booty-call and let the return call go to voicemail. I’ve talked a mighty good game and played them before they saw it coming. And now, I am SUFFERING the wrath of Vag-Drought because MotherKarma is a betch out with a vengeance against me and my accidental tendencies… -_-