This sounds like a recipe for disaster or great success...

There's a party Saturday night and we've invited lots of our friends-- I even invited Casanova, SchoolBoy and a guy I hooked up with a while back we'll call PoliSci Guy. Now when I realized what I did I turned to My Gay and asked, "Is this a bad idea?" And he pursed his lips and said to me, "Well, I don't know, there's no guarantee that they'll all even show up. So you should be fine...unless they do, and then what are you going to do?" I looked him in the eye and asked, "Does it make me a whore if I don't see the problem in all this?" He laughed and we went back to getting the house ready.

I already know Casanova's a no show, he left town today, so I should be fine. But if SchoolBoy shows up, I feel like I'd be subconsciously cutting my partying back to not scare him off. FACK. Why does this happen to us? We like a guy and we find ourselves subconsciously changing or adapting to suit him and his. Whenever I catch myself I correct it, but I don't always catch it. Hell, I'm getting whiplash from the conflicting emotions.

For this party however, we've initiated some rules: if you say "Caleb", "birthday", "shots" or "mother fucker" and it's derivatives, you have to drink; everytime the air horn goes off everyone drinks, when the song "Shots" comes on it's time to do shots; etc. We're getting shitfaced no doubt about it, thank God because I'm long overdue for a you-should-be-blacked-out-how-are-you-still-going-Therese?! kinda night. I just hope I don't do something to make the show uncomfortable the last week. The entire cast is coming and I really don't want to do something stupid like cuss out a cast member or hook up with one. Haha so I suppose it's a good thing I'm importing sex, huh?

I'm not 100% how Saturday night is going to boil down, but if it's sexually successful, you can find out on A.C. in full detail. I'll of course give an outline on here of the night, let's hope no one get's alcohol poisoning at t h i s party.